How to Handle the In-Between Time

Lessons from a season of disruption

Photo by Jan Huber on Unsplash

The life of faith is exactly what it suggests - a life of faith. That is to say, it is not a life of complete knowledge and understanding. The moment we think we have life all figured out, our plans clear, our tomorrow certain, we inevitably find we are thrown a curve ball.

My assistant pastor, who is also a friend and my right-hand man, recently informed me that he feels called to move on and take up a new ministry appointment. He and his family will soon leave us. I always new it was possible they would move on one day, such is the nature of ministry and God’s call on our lives, but I hadn’t expected it any time soon. He and his wife are a popular, well loved, and very gifted couple. They are the last people we would ever want to leave. However, this is the life of faith. God owes us no explanation. He can do whatever he wants, when he wants, and that sometimes means our plans are disrupted in the process.

And so I find myself in a season between what God has been doing, and what he will do next. We are in the in-between time. Over the past few weeks I have found my mind filled with questions - how, why, when, who???? But beneath all of that I have an underlying peace, one that defies understanding. I should be freaking out as I contemplate the next few months of church leadership and the minefield of recruitment, but as I sip my flat white and write this… I’m okay.

I’m learning something about the in-between time that I hope might encourage you. After all, you are either currently in some kind of in-between time, or you soon will be. It is the nature of our walk with God. The in-between season is the time between the question being asked and the answer arriving. Between the vision and the provision. Between the promise and the outcome. Between the seed and the harvest. The in-between seasons of life can last days, weeks, months, or even years. And so the way we navigate them is crucial. There are important lessons to learn and steps to take.

Photo by Tim Cooper on Unsplash

Embracing the disruption

The in-between season is a time of disruption. Your plans haven’t worked out, your vision is now veiled in thick fog, and you have more questions than answers. But this could be the perfect time to lean in to God in a fresh way. Every so often the garden of our soul needs to be dug over, the ground broken up and fertilised. Things might seem to get worse before they get better, but it’s in the disruption that God can bring to life something new. Dare I say, something even better. The ground beneath our feet might seem less stable, but the everlasting arms of God can become more real than ever.

Before God answers our prayer, he might use the in-between time to do some work in us. Invite him to do so. Ask him to work his purposes out in the disruption of your plans. Let him weed out the unhelpful and unnecessary things. Give him the opportunity to change your perspective, altar your course, or realign your vision. We might just find that we will look back one day and thank God for the way he changed our plans. This is an opportunity to trust the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Letting God Speak

There are many competing voices in the in-between time. Make sure you listen for the still-small, holy voice above all others. The voice of condemnation will shout. The voice of anxiety will insist on being heard. The internal questions, accusations, and discouragements will compete for your ear. The whiny, moany, complainy voice of unbelief will want your attention. Don’t listen to the lies. Listen to the Lord.

Over the days following my friends resignation, God spoke to me in three clear ways. Firstly, he gave me a song that has helped me process the emotion of the season. When I say, ‘God gave me a song’, I don’t want to overstate the experience. An angel didn’t show up playing a Stratocaster. But I have found that in many seasons of my life, a particular song has helped me. Sometimes, as in this case, it hasn’t been a ‘christian’ song, but a lyric that meets me where I am. One night when I was struggling to sleep, my mind full of questions, a really old Bruce Hornsby song drifted into my conscience. I put in my earbuds and listened. It probably won’t mean much to you - and that’s fine. You can ask God for your own song. But a particular lyric from The River Runs Low, helped me. I’m not actually sure what Bruce’s song is about, but “the river runs low tonight” seemed to sum up how I felt about my friend leaving. The pains of life are real and it does us no good to suppress them. Like the Psalmist we have to yell them out. God this hurts. The river runs low, and it’s good to acknowledge it. But the song has a refrain that ends with, “but I’m gonna wait till you make the river run high.” That felt like a prayer of faith, like the ending of a Psalm. God this season doesn’t feel good, but I believe you are good, and good days are ahead.

Secondly, God spoke to my heart with a very particular phrase. I realise that some of you might wonder what I mean when I say, ‘God spoke to my heart.’ I mean that, as I prayed, a very particular phrase came to my mind, accompanied by a feeling of deep conviction. This was not an audible voice, but an internal one. As I prayed I sensed God say, ‘You can be sad, but you cannot be mad.’

It’s tempting to get angry during the in-between time. We can get mad with other people, with ourselves, and even with God. Anger, however, won’t help because it has no creative power. It just drains us. As justified as your frustration may feel, resist it at all costs. Keep a sweet spirit. Stay thankful and rejoicing. Sorrow is understandable and God meets us there in beautiful ways. He is near to the broken-hearted. And so I have been determined every day to be sad but not mad. This has been a heavenly rescue for me in the midst of the upheaval.

What might God be saying to you in your in-between time? Have you asked him, and are you listening?

Thirdly, God gave me a scripture. Again, I want to be helpful by saying what I mean. I mean that as I was praying I felt prompted to read Isaiah 41. Part of my prayer that day had been expressing to God that I was losing my ‘right-hand man.’ I needed his help. What was I going to do now? As I followed the prompting and read Isaiah 41, my eyes fell on verse 13:

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

Now, as great a right-hand man as Josh has been, even he can’t compare to the LORD helping me! That scripture has been a real encouragement as I look to the future. God will be there, with me, helping me.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Keeping relationships alive

During the transition seasons, it’s easy for relationships to suffer. If we allow stress, fear, and frustration to build up, the fallout will drag people down. As our friends move on, we are doing all we can to love, encourage and support them. We are also doing all we can as a leadership team to love, encourage and support each other.

During the in-between time I’m spending more time with my wife, not less. I’m having more cups of coffee with friends. I’m scheduling more time for rest and play. Love is not just a nice christian ideal, it is the heartbeat of the christian life. Love never fails.

I have seen people lose their love during an in-between time. When that happens no one wins. They become sullen and deflated. They become a victim of the season, missing the blessings that are right under their nose. If that’s how you have felt, repent, receive God’s grace, and hold tight to a fresh perspective. You can come through this season better, not bitter. And when that happens everyone benefits.

Stay open. God will lead you through. He’ll lead me too.

Warmest,

Steve

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